


i don't see a future if it ain't including you

by orphan_account



Series: Wandless Magic, or not. [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Huang Ren Jun-centric, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, Pining, Rated T for swearing, god yangyang is my favorite character to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-12 03:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20143723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Renjun could count with his hands the amount of happy, vivid memories he has ever made before moving into the school that would presumably shape him into the great wizard he's going to be. He doesn't take in count that his life would do a total 180 as he'd learn that happiness is nothing but a group of hogwart students that would never leave him the fuck alone. (He might be grateful for that, but you'll never hear that leave his mouth. Ever.)





	i don't see a future if it ain't including you

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY i swear this is messy and more like a prequel than anything but renjun, jeno, jaemin, chenle and yangyang are the characters who are going to probably be the main focus of this series and i wanted to give each of them a fluffy and light introduction to the universe and all. i hope its,,,, enjoyable at least
> 
> title - lo que siento by cuco

Renjun knows magic like the palm of his hand. He was born into a family of Hogwarts professors who also dedicated their family time into teaching him wandless magic. He learned how to conjure before even learning how to count. He's supposed to be the best student with this advantage, with the knowledge he has been gifted with even before going into the castle's walls, but he can't help but despite this supposed gift.

Magic itself isn't the problem. It's not that he wants to be a muggle because he thinks lifeless magic is easier. He likes magic and wands and spells and all that, but being the son of professors at the school you'd have to spend seven years of your life in is just cruel. People would hate him without even talking to him, as if his parents are enough of a fact of him for them to judge. But he can somewhat see why they'd do that, he suppises it's either because they feel like he's cheating his way into the top or because they don't want to be around some teacher's kid, that's like a detention waiting to happen. Saying that he's looking up to the school year is a blatant lie.

He's destined to be lonely. He will be sitting alone in the cafeteria, maybe he'd be approached by people who'd think that if they become his friends out of pity they'd get easier a's from their teachers. It'd be funny to think about his parents actually caring about his social life if he didnt feel hatred in the pit of his stomach at the idea of people pitying him like he needs them.

So the night before he embarks himself into this so terrifying and miserable phase of his life, he goes up to the attic of their house where the telescope lays looking up into the dark skies. He has a memory that would repeat itself everytime he came here. He was about 5 years old and around then, his parents had still not obligated him to spend his time studying like a freak. Instead, they played with him and told him stories that to little innocent him sounded about impossible, but he believed nonetheless. The most vivid, happy memory is of his mother gifting him the telescope for his 6th birthday. He had been confused because he was never into astronomy but she had played with his hair softly as she told him that she wanted for him to look at the stars and remember that as long as they shined, that he'll be happy because someone else that breathes under the same sky would make sure of that. 

Sometimes he wants to ask her if she still thinks so now. If she's sure that he's ever going to find a person like that. But he can hear words about focusing on more crucial mattets and his chest can't help but feel heavy. He barely sleeps that night, but he can still see the stars sparkling at him when he looks up to the roof from his bed.

* * *

When the words "Huang Renjun" cut through the cheers from the gryffindor table, thanks to it's new added member, Lee Jeno, is that he realizes that he's been called to the sorting hat and it might be way too late to even think that _fuck, i don't know what house i'll get into_ but he does anyway. And he panics. Hard. His parents have had this discussion last dinner, both agreeing that he'd be a good ravenclaw and smiled as they shared a cup of wine, not even bothering to include him in the conversation. Renjun just excused himself after finishing his food and decided to push the idea out of his head for the night. But now, as he feels the hat sit on the top of his head and hum softly, he wonders if they'd be right and how would he feel if they were.

It clearly feels like a stab in the stomach. Like, even though he has tried his hardest to not be molded by his parents like a piece of clay, he is all of what they expect him to be. Like he's lost control over himself and will follow the plan they've made for his destined to be wizard life. So when he walks to the ravenclaw table, who are cheering for him and saying they hope he feels at home, he tries not to think how far from 'home' he wishes to be.

And soon enough, the blue colors of his robes are talking to him. Reminding him of what he's expected to be, what he's made to be. But he shakes his head, with a burning feeling in his chest and a tear down his face and he decides that he'll prove them wrong. He'll show them the real Huang Renjun, the one who doesn't want to be a powerful wizard more than he wants to be a regular person and show them that they won't be able to make him their perfect jewel to show off anymore.

* * *

Avoiding his parents is plenty easy when he only has one class taught by his dad the whole year. It feels refreshing to be let alone, to not be surrounded of expectations and what-not all the time. He also finds a friend, or something close to it anyways, on a slytherin who fits the whole 'slytherin are snakes' stereotype. The other teen wasn't there to be friendly, jusging from the way he kept on trying to start fights with all the other houses, and he kind of felt a little drawn over to him because Rejun wasn't looking for all that friendship is wandless magic type of thing.

_"Hey, Renjunnie, how's the day been treating you lil' bitch"_ Was what he had said one time on his flying class. And listen, he's had flying all figured out and all since he was like nine but he did fall from his broom at the sudden words that fell from the teen's mouth because holy fuck no one had ever felt so careless around him to even act like hes a normal person.

Since then, both of them would laugh at the idiots who'd fall from their brooms the first semester of the year. They wouldn't really do much after that, sometimes he'd join him at lunch along with Jaehyun-hyung and Sicheng-ge or, shockingly, Renjun would pass by the library when he knew the other was studying for a test and help him a little. It's not that he didn't like Hyuck, he was actually pretty funny and was the only one that saw him as an equal, but he was overwhelmed easily by the slytherin. Never really having friends growing up could do that to you, so it was better for him to warm up to whatever this was slowly.

In the other hand, he had made acquaintances with a gryffindor of the same year. He wouldn't of really cared for the guy if he didn't see him so often. See, Renjun would call himself impulsive. He has about zero self control and would get in a fight without even processing he threw the first punch. So he ended up doing lots of cleaning after school to make up for disruptions. And while he didn't care to do all of that alone, he found himself not hating the company of the kid who seemed to get in as much trouble as him. His name was Jeno Lee and they had exchanged some words, maybe talked twice, but Renjun didn't know what to think of him just yet.

Now, he thinks that's enough social interaction for the year but his heart seems to disagree. He finds to be a little taken away by the smile of a hufflepuff boy who shared his herbiology class. His name was Na Jaemin and he was the nicest person Renjun has ever known. He doesn't understand why he is a little interested in the taller kid, because kindness wasn't something he was completely used to dealing with, but this kid was just genuinely nice. He couldn't see the kid trying too hard, he was just nice as default and that was something he's never seen before on anyone.

So he found himself crushing at a boy he barely even talked to the rest of his first year. Merlin, the dude probably doesn't even know his name, yet he's out here feeling his heart skip a beat when he thinks of the hufflepuff. He feels himself panic over the days because in his miserable eleven years of living he'd never expected to feel like _this_ over someone this fucking soon.

* * *

Second year is worse. He has potions more often and that means seeing Dad more. And seeing Dad more often meant feeling his stare burn through him when he distracted himself doodling on his books instead of paying attention to his boring lessons. It also meant more people learned that his parents worked in the school and simultaneously more people would try to be cautious around him like he was a ticking bomb. So yes, second year sucks. 

But he now has a friend, or he thinks he does because Hyuck keeps on referring himself as his friend and he doesn't correct him by saying "since when are we friends?" anymore. 

Now, Jeno is a different story. They start to talk more even though the gryffindor stops getting in trouble as often. Something about kids not teasing him for his economic status as much. But he feels himself warm up to him pretty fast even if they only have time to bond through muggle studies class lately, which is both terrifying and amusing. 

He doesn't know how or when, but he starts hanging around the two more. He'd find himself talking to Jeno a lot, sensing his little owl away to tell him about any stupid gossip that comes his way and would eat besides Hyuck about sixty percent of the time. He's surprised to find out that _huh_. He finds their company somewhat<strike>really</strike> enjoyable. 

"Ah! Chenle-yah! Come here!" Hyuck screams one day at the cafeteria startling the ravenclaw just a little. Renjun looks up from his half empty plate to see that Hyuck's talking to a slytherin first year who looks like a literal child. It doesn't help him look any older when the younger shoots a big smile at him the moment he sees the older slytherin and hurries to sit beside him. See, he's not one to judge but he's never seen someone be so happy while carrying green robes around. Maybe Hyuck, but that only happened when he got away with something really sketchy, so seeing slytherins be so bubbly was weird as hell.

He soon learns that the brat's name is Chenle Zhong. Zhong like the famous aurors he's heard about from his parents tales. He looks at the younger with a frown because most kids from aurors are always shy, reserved and just edgy looking. He can't really blame them. The people they love most are always in some kind of danger. Pushing people away because of the fear of caring for someone who would probably hurt them by getting hurt themselves is a rational trauma for auror kids. But this brat, whose parents have almost died like four times since he was born, is fucking _beaming_ and by the looks of it, he is determined to be an auror too. Renjun doesn't know if the younger has a deathwish, if he doesn't understand the complexity of the job or if he's really just driven by a power bigger than fear. It may be all three.

It confuses the hell out of Renjun because the kid is trying to impress his parents, show them that he can do the same things that they do and just meet expectations because to Chenle failure is just a myth. It's the total opposite of himself, Renjun-the-problem-kid-huang, and he _should_ hate him for being what his parents expect Renjun to be. Like he's a reminder of what he shouldn't become, but he steals a glance at him and he can't be mad or upset because this kid has an aura that he can't describe and it just pulls him in. Renjun thinks that the kid is set for a big future not because he's powerful, but because not many people seem to be that driven anymore. He can see ambition radiate from his eyes and _that_ is impressive because no other slytherin, the supposedly ambitious house, acts as ambitious as him and it surprises the older. He thinks that Chenle might even impress himself one day when he pushes past the limits of what others want him to do when he gets that he can make his own goals too, and he wants to be there when that happens so he decides not to push him away anytime soon.

"Oh! You're Renjun-ge! Hyuck-hyung always talks about you, you know. I've wanted to meet you because he says you're grumpier than him and I thought that was impossible! But I see I was wrong.." Okay, yeah, if this kid is going to join his now growing friend group then he'll teach him to keep his mouth fucking shut or else he'll die before this brat even reaches second year.

* * *

Third year is around the corner and Renjun can't wait anymore. He's tired of being stuck at home reading books and going over past lessons. He wouldn't admit it, but he misses his "friends" a little. He also feels like dying because he hasn't seen his beautiful crush in so long and thirteen year old Renjun is about to go crazy. See, he's not lovesick but he is starstruck because he swears Na Jaemin is a star himself. He's been sketching him the whole summer vacation and he thinks it might be a little unhealthy, but it _does_ help him a lot on his realism skills so he's in the middle of the whole 'am i in love or am i creepy' spectrum. He decides that he needs to stop the habit before it becomes a routine and signs himself up for Muggle Arts against his parents wish of doing something more productive or whatever. He tells them that he likes the arts the muggles creates or something as an excuse that they buy soon enough as long as he tries out for the triwizard event that would happen on his sixth year. Renjun accepts, knowing that if anything, there was a slytherin blonde who would be better prepared for it.

He expects to have a serious talk with his parents at the last dinner they'd spent together before he heads back to the ravenclaw dorms but he's sitting alone in the big dining table. It hurts a little if he compares this to the cozy feeling of the big, loud cafeteria inside the castle. He wonders if home could be somewhere else away from books and parents and wandless magic lessons. He finds an answer pretty soon.

* * *

He can see it clearly. The white posters with an ugly picture of him saying 'Huang Renjun. Wanted for Murder' on every wall, in every street but he doesn't care. He's ready to fucking pounce at the hufflepuff in front of him.

See, he did sign up for Muggle Arts because he decided that it'd be a better method to improve his art skills too, but he kinda forgets that anyone can take the course, too. So it shocks him when he sees students from all the classes, instead of the regular two houses per class accommodations, sitting across the room. He can see very familiar faces like Yangyang, the annoying hufflepuff who had sent him chocolates once asking him if he wanted to go out for coffee to what he had answered with 'no. gross.' to which he'd expected the other to cry and hate him for the rest of their time at the castle, but it only seemed to make him hang around him more which was what he wanted the least because the little shit was _annoying_. We're talking about talkative and clingy annoying. He wouldn't stop talking even if you told him twenty fucking times to shut the hell up. He had silencioed him thrice only on their second year and he wouldn't hesitate to do it again. There was also this dude that sat in front of him who he recognizes to be friends with Sicheng-ge, and like the 6th year, this dude is a gryffindor whose name he keeps on forgetting but he knows it's along the lines of henry or something. And then, in the front of the class, sits Jaemin with the shiniest eyes Renjun has ever fucking seen. He's so excited and it's cute as hell and Renjun thinks he might die of a heart attack at the age of thirteen.

And you'd think that _that_ was it. That maybe, just maybe, he would just admire from afar the whole class time and that'd be all of his "gay shitty adventures" for the year, but there's an outsider factor that knows no better than to meddle with Huang Renjun's love life. It's name? Liu fucking Yangyang.

So he's here, ready to beat the shit out of this stupid tall hufflepuff because he'd approach him at the start of the class saying "So how's the Jaemin pining going for you today? He's wearing some sparkling lip gloss and I think you'd stare at his lips more than you already do, which would make it super fucking obvious, dude, but I mean—" Renjun literally jumped at him and tackled him into the ground when he realized that Jaemin could enter that door at any given minute and he'd _**know**_. before screaming him to _SHUT YOUR ASS UP YOU FUCKMUNCH ILL KILL YOU. TRY AND TALK LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT STUPID SHIT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT NOW YOU ASS AND DONT TOUCH ME MR. MOON CAUSE—_ oh. Yeah, class is about to start and he's choking Yangyang to death and Professor Moon just decided to enter the stupid classroom. Great, he thinks, as he's told to wait outside the classroom. How would the media react to the son of two professors murdering another student? Maybe he'd make it to the front page of some famous newspaper and Jaemin would frown at it and finally remember his name and face. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

Detention, though, is pretty bad. It's not even detention, he's helping mr. Oh with cleaning some cages that they use to contain magical creatures in and he wants to cry because it smells like shit. He swears to Merlin that if he ever sees the hufflepuff again, he will kill him and no teacher would be able to stop him then.

It's at the same time that he sees Jeno enter the room that he feels his anger die a little. "Oh, you're here again." mumbles the gryffindor as he goes up to help him carry the cleaning equipments to the other side of the room.

And wow, isn't it fucking hilarious that Jeno is also in this situation because of a rather talkative hufflepuff. So Yangyang did get himself almost killed twice in a day, isn't that like a record? Or does he always get himself in trouble for going after people who are just trying to live their whole lives admiring their crushes from afar? 

He and Jeno laugh at how idiotic the hufflepuff seems to be, cursing him out for talking like he knew what they wanted or how they felt. And soon enough they're both done with the stupid ass chores. He says an "okay fine, but im bringing a snake, hyuck, with me" when Jeno invites him to eat lunch with him and his bestfriend to which he gets a confused expression. He makes a mental note to remember that Jeno is a little bit bad with remembering names.

And even though he did manage to cool down a little, he's tired and grumpy and he's just about to kill someone if they dare ask him of the events of this morning one more time. Yet he walks to his dorm slowly because of how much his bones hurt because the cages were heavy. He's in the middle of cursing himself for being so damn weak when suddenly Jaemin, the pure angel that is Na Jaemin, stops him in the hallways just when he's about to reach the ravenclaw dorm room's door. He hasn't spoken to him ever, like they've exchanged hello's and he swears the hufflepuff has helped him in muggle arts like thrice but that's it. All of their other interactions are only smiles of recognition and this is different and he's panicking damn hard inside, but he doesn't let himself show his akwardness through his stupid cool kid facade he created or some bullshit. "Uhh, hi?"

"Hi! Renjun! Right?! I'm so sorry! I- well, Yangyang wouldn't tell me what happened but I know it's my fault he did what he did! And I'm sorry. He wanted to get back at me for something and he used you because— Uhm, I-I don't know exactly but he did and I'm sorry! Let me make it up to you?" He takes his time to process the words coming out of the shy that seems to be panicking. _Huh_. Renjun can relate but he also doesn't want to let _him_ know that he relates. He doesn't know how to answer, or talk for the matter, because why would this be Jaemin's fault? He's sure Yangyang was just the daily stupid fuck that he is and that has nothing to do with the hufflepuff. He also knows that Jaemin could never do anything wrong, ever, so he frowns.

"You don't have to make anything up. I, uh, jumped at him because he's a fucking idiot and he wouldn't shut the hell up when I told him to. You couldn't have done anything to trigger that." he congratulates himself mentally for he actually sounding normal and not like he was in the verge of an emotional outburst.

The other shakes his head in a very fast speed that makes Renjun surprised to see the other doesn't get whiplash. "Ah, no... You don't understand. I made him act like that because... well, I can't tell you but believe me! It's on me and I'd really like if you'd let me make it up to you. Please?"

He hates this. He hates himself. He hates his fucking sexuality. He hates this pretty boy who's so persistent for making him feel like this. "Okay."

* * *

He finds himself hanging around the herbiology classroom after school one wednesday afternoon with a hufflepuff who beats every other flower or plant that lay around them in terms of beauty. It's just not fair how beautiful his face is, how his eyelashes flutter with such delicacy or how his lips are always so vibrant with color. But he reminds himself that _hey, you shitbag! he's right there. Act normal for once, fucking would you?_

The younger of the two stops by a blue looking flower and smiles. "Oh, here it is. This is Injun!" he shoves the plant at his face and he'd be annoyed if he wasn't rather thankful the plant covered his face enough to hide the slight blush on his cheek because _holy fuck_ that's adorable.

"Oh! I uh, called it like that because it reminds me of you. Well, not only because you're a ravenclaw and.. it's blue but because it has weirdly sharp edges." The other seems to ramble when he notices how Renjun seems to shocked at the fact that a stranger has named a flower after him like some kinda weirdo. Nope. It's still adorable to him. "But you see... it's soft in the inside, the edges are just to protect itself from harm. And I've seen the way you act, I-I haven't been staring too much! I just... you caught my attention? yeah and-"

"It's a pretty flower." he says, without thinking. Shit. He just interrupted the hufflepuff in the middle of his talking and he feels guilty, like an asshole. (Since when does he care if he acts like an asshole? ) But the other smiles at him and he feels like he did the right thing. And this new feeling grows inside him, like he wants to see the smile for longer so he adds "I— Naming in after me? I found it fucking hilarious, uh, you know? Because I've never been compared to damn flowers but it's uh.. a nice change." He wants to add a _thank you_ but the words die in his mouth at the sound of the giggles coming from the person in front of him and he thinks he might've of died and been sent to heaven.

"I'm glad then, too." 

* * *

"Really? _'I found it fucking hilarious'?_ You're hopeless, Renjun-ah." He throws a pillow at the slytherin who seems to be enjoying laughing at his pathetic and inexistent love life.

"Shut the hell up. You act like it's easy for me to do this shit. For fucks sake, that was the nicest thing I could fucking say, you know? I'm so used to cussing or some shit but with him... it feels like he's fragile and shit.. I- merlim i'm fucking lost." He doesn't know why he's telling this to Hyuck out of everyone but he thinks it's fair as he's dealt with him talking about the stupid hufflepuff who is on the top of his kill list like he wabts to know about that. He just hopes this doesn't backfire by him befriending Jaemin and forcing them all to pass time together or some shit that Hyuck would do to just get something to tease him off.

Oh, he jinxed it, didn't he? Why was Jaemin, out of all people, coming over to sit with them in the cafeteria? Renjun feels his brain short circuit for a moment because he cannot respond to the greeting the bright teen had said to him. He hopes the way he moves over a little so the other has some space to sit is enough of an invitation and a greeting.

"Hello, Jaemin! Me and my friend here— hey! stop looking at me like that, injunnie we are friends are we not?— back to what I was saying, me and him were talking about inviting you to hang out with us this weekend!" He's gonna wipe the smirk of the slytherin's face. Just watch. "Though we plan on inviting Jeno and this ravenclaw Jisung, second year to hang too, but we felt like you'd be up to it. What do you say, you in?"

He keeps on giving the other the most threatening looks he's ever made but the other seems unfazed as his gaze is concentrated in the thoughtful expression of the guy beside him. After some more seconds, he agrees and rambles about how much he's wanted to hangout with 'the problem children' or whatever that means. They eat in silent after that, well Jaemin and him eat in silent because hyuck's rambling about wanting to meet that Yangyang dude one day and neither of them want to tell him that they don't want the both of them together. Ever.

Jaemin leaves, before saying something along the lines of "I'm excited to hang out this weekend!" but he might be wrong because he was too busy staring at his glossy lips and if Hyuck has any wish to preserve his stupid life he should stop smirking at him.

"And I thought you were good at hiding your feelings."

If he headlocks him right there and then the other students seem unfazed as they finish their lunch.

* * *

He's sweating bullets and it's gross. He tells himself to fucking chill but it seems like his body isn't in the mood to respond accordingly. He can see the apologetic smile Jeno is giving him and it makes him more upset. The shithead is pitying him for his lack of coolness when Jeno is nothing more than a _loser_. Like, the dude has been making heart eyes at the stupid slytherin auror wannabe and _he's_ the one to be pitied? Yeah, fuck that.

He rolls his eyes at the slytherin's comment of "Jaemin is arriving soon, Injunnie, get prepared to panic." and gives him the finger when he's sure Jisung isn't looking. Jisung is the youngest of his friend group, and their newest addition too, and he doesn't want to be the one responsible for his rebellious phase or what not. The slytherin snorts at his vulgar gesture and tells him to stop being a—

Jaemin runs from one place of the garden and he's suddenly in front of them all smiley and Renjun has no time to listen to the shitbag that is his friend because Jaemin is wearing fucking eyeliner and what is he doing? Losing it. He thought the other couldn't look prettier but here is the other proving him wrong once again.

It's not until the Hufflepuff asks him "And how are you, Renjun?" that he realizes he's been staring ever since he arrived. Renjun can see Jeno trying to hold his laugh where he stands in the back of the room (fuck you loser, you got it worse.) and tries to stable himself. "Not great, had to deal with these fuckers' bullshit before you came and all."

The taller teen gives him another smile and Renjun wants to tell him that he shouldn't be giving others his smile that often because merlin, people didn't deserve that shit. _He_ didn't. "Then I'm glad I came, I won't let them be rude to you! Promise!" 

He nods at him, a smile tugging at his lips because this dude is so pure Renjun thinks he actually might be an angel. He doesn't miss the way Jisung looks at both of them with his eyebrows raised and probably wondering 'since when is Renjun not rude to anyone?' and he wants to hit him in the head. He's so stupid, really.

They end up doing this muggle thing that Hyuck and Jisung call twister on one of the common rooms which is much more fun than what they had let them know but shit, he's really bad at it. He keeps on falling because his bones are those of an old man and his flexibility is non-existent. It seems that the ones who are good at this are Jaemin and Jisung which okay, seems fair, they're young and tall and can reach further and this is just a big fuck you to Renjun because he's at disadvantage. 

"Yah, Renjun you're out already! You are so bad at this, what are you, thirty?!" Hyuck whines from his spot. Fucking stupid colors why were they so far apart? his limbs are fucking short he can't do this without it hurting.

"Hyuck-ah! Don't be mean. You're as bad! You didn't even try!" Argues Jaemin, from his position. Renjun can see the hufflepuff is struggling, he's shaking and his legs are sliding a little out of place. The ravenclaw bites his lips, trying to find a way to make it easier for the other to win because fuck you, Jisung, you don't deserve to win.

He smirks to Jeno, who is eyeing him like he _knows_ Renjun is about to do something stupid. Well, shit, he might. But he doesn't give a damn if the other wants to stop him but he can try.

He smiles as he walks over to Jeno who's the one spinning the wheel because he has an injured arm thanks to falling of his stupid broom at quidditch practice. The idiot had fought against him for the right to spin the damn wheel but he had used the 'you dont want me to get worse and not be able to even play my first game ever, do you?' card and no one could say no to that.

He takes the wheel out of his hand and says "_my_ turn." and spins the wheel. If he was Jeno he'd say right hand to yellow like the stupid wheel had claimed, but no, he is Huang Renjun, the shithead in love with the struggling hufflepuff player, and Jisung is doomed.

"Left feet to green." He can feel proudness at the moment he sees Jisung's eyes go full panic mode because there's only one spot for him to put his feet now, as Jaemin beats him to the closest one and both of his and the other's hands are in the green spots, and it's impossible for him to reach it with the way he's holding. He can hear him curse as he falls down on the mat after his low effort of trying to survive. 

Renjun would feel guilty, maybe, but he can see the way happiness surrounds every inch of the hufflepuff who keeps on saying 'I've won' repeatedly and he thinks that it was all worth it at the end.

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

* * *

Is the end of third year and he's doomed to go back to his parent's house. (he stopped calling it home some months ago.) when Jisung tells him that he can come over to his muggle house if he wanted to. Renjun wanted to object; to say something like "and deal with your shitty ass? of course not." but he knows that he'd rather deal sith the weirdness of non-magic users than his parents summer classes. He just shrugs him off and leaves saying we'll talk soon.

He thinks about it all night. About how good it'd be to be around the younger because he'd feel more free, less pressured and carefree. He also knows that he wouldn't be able to use magic because muggles or whatever but he thinks that a break from magic can be relaxing. So when his mind is made up, he closes his eyes and dreams of calmness and smiles and his parents don't ever invade any portion of it with words about a future he does not want.

He answers Jisung's offer a day later saying something along the lines of "Whatever, idiot. Someone has to keep you fucking company I guess." and he can instantly see the way Jisung smiles at him like he just told the brat that he magically passed all his classes. He guesses the other is just excited to have him.

But really, Jisung knows that his words were the Renjun way to say "Thank you." because if the ravenclaw was bad at anything, it was being bad at feelings and _Merlin_ be scared the day he shows enough care for someone that he mutters a thank you.

* * *

It was easy to get out of his parent's grasp when he told them that it'd be a great way to advancein muggle studies. He wants to laugh because he's not even taking the class next year but whatever makes his parents not question his life choices and let him have some peace.

The not-so-easy part was dealing with Mark and Jisung, who seemed to live close to each other. Mark is Jisung's friend but he knew the older because Jeno always brings him along to their atudy sessions. He likes Mark, actually. He's the rational one of the group apart from him and it makes him feel a little bit sane. They grew to be much more closer in the summer, as Jisung and him would hang out a shitton. But he didn't only warm up to the two idiots, he found himself also becoming more familiar with Chenle, who would stay over Mark's or Jisung's house sometimes when his parents would go away in some kind of auror adventure shit he doesn't care about to hear because it's boring. He starts to see Chenle more as a friend, but he doesn't get there yet. (He can see through the other, who wears his heart on his sleeve like a fucking idiot, that the slytherin is already fond of him to some extent. _shit_.) He can't help but feel a little odd seeing the younger be so content with his life. The reminder of his parents wishes linger on him, still. But besides that, he does enjoy himself more than he's ever done during summer breaks. But that also means that he worries that he's finding himself a little too attached to these kids who he might grow away from. Maybe he's letting too many people climb over his walls.

The last week of break, he spends it alone in the guest room trying to tell himself that what he's been doing is wrong because getting attached to happiness it's not something he can just do. But well damn him because his friends did notice his change and decided to make an intervention for him to stop being so "edgy and full of doubts" (they call that another stupid product of his shit ass parent's "parenting")

He is cornered by Mark, Jisung and Chenle who keep on telling him how even if he _didn't_ want them to, that they cared for him and he couldn't make those decisions for them. That even if the other acted tough and all, that they would always be there for him without asking for him to change his antics. They smiled while telling him that they'd be okay with him asking for anything because that's what friends do. That it didn't make him weak at all. Mark had told him that he had grown to care for him as a little brother and would do anything if asked, however Jisung had said how he felt like a little brother when he's around him and because of that, he would also like to be some source of comfort to the older. Chenle had told him how he found him really amusing, and that he had so much to learn from him and that he wanted to get closer the next years if he was able. His eyes telling renjun that he knew that it wasn't his place yet, because they aren't the closest of friend, but _damn_ the kid swore on his parents that he'll try and make Renjun his close friend too.

He made them promise they would never tell Hyuck or Jeno about their group hug. Renjun never did that, he had told them, and you guys never experienced that either. They all agreed after laughing about his reaction a bit, but then suggested that he should let others hug him more because he was surprisingly gpod at it. He doesn't miss the way Chenle, in full chinese so only he knows, jokes about how his hugs are reserved for a special hufflepuff only and tries to hit him as hard as he can before getting stopped by the other two. He really, really is annoyed by feelings.

* * *

Fourth year is... wild. It goes by so fast, he barely finds time to study for his classes, but so much happens in the hectic year that he feels that it all might be a simulation like Jisung says when something weird happens, something that just seems out of place and isn't that how his life felt after all of the changes.

There are three major changes that happen in his fourth year. The first one being that he befriends? (full on question mark.) Liu Yangyang to his own surprise. It's all fucking stupid because he despises him. Like, he'd punch him in the face if he saw him ever.

And yes, that's what he does first thing in his fourth year. The hufflepuff seems anything but impressed and tells him that for someone his size, he's pretty strong and Renjun really, really, really can't comprehend if the other is just obviously fucking stupid or has a deathwish of some kind. But before he has any time to tell him off and try and kill him(again), a gryffindor pops out of nowhere and tries to reason with Renjun that fighting on his first day back isn't a good thing to start with for anyone's year. And even if Renjun wanted to disagree, he can't because deep down he knows that the shitfuck is right. Damn.

So he walks along Yangyang and Hendery, (he finally remembers his name! can you believe he thought it was fucking henry for like 4 years?) to the infirmary because the hufflepuff insisted he needed some ice and that the slytherin should come to make it up to him. They walk mostly in silence, but the other says something about "thank you, Jaemin fan number one!" and fucking hell, he couldn't get away from it could he?

The second time he sees Yangyang is at lunch. The hufflepuff is sitting with Jaemin and tells him to join their conversation as he gestures to the empty space besides his crush. Both of them seemed to be talking about their favorite flowers. Something which Renjun shouldn't care about but he _does_ because anything related to Na Jaemin just seemed to bring his interest apparently.

It's not until Jaemin excuses himself off the table that Yangyang slides a paper with an address that he notices that _oh shit, the fuckstain is here too_. He raises an eyebrow to the piece of paper, but he knows enough about the dude to know not to even question his weird antics anymore.

"He said he liked the moly flower, I'm sure they have those there." He says before sipping, fucking loudly too, from his juice box and Renjun doesn't know what to say. So he stays looking at him, shocked, like a fool but he can't help himself to care about his face expression. Why is this annoying fuck helping him? 

"What? Do I have something on my face?" The other dares to ask because yeah like Renjun would care if he had something on his ugly ass face. Can't this idiot put two and two together, for fucks sake? Isn't he aware of how much Renjun wants to beat his ass?

"Fuck, Nothing. I'm gonna go or whatever." He says as he places the address inside the pockets of his robes. He doesn't turn around to see the grin of the hufflepuff as he mouths a 'you're welcome.'

And like that, the annoying Hufflepuff seems to be helping him get somewhere with his miserable lovelife. He'd let him know Jaemin's favorite foods, his hobbies, what the other likes to draw or some shit that he thinks would be useful to the ravenclaw. He never thanks the dude, though. He always says something about "Huh, only you would bother to tell me this shit right?" but he doesn't really dislike the fact the other is trying so hard to help him because he knows jack shit about this kinds of things. He also appreciates the fact the other seems to accept his rude words and still decide to help him out. He still finds him annoying as ever though, because he keeps on pestering him about very intrusive questions and Renjun never ever talks about his feelings.

And with his weird friends-or-whatever relationship comes the second biggest change. It seems that the gifts that Renjun gives Jaemin, thanks to the other fucking hufflepuff's help, triggered this event because he ends up asking the other out on a date.

And it's not just a cool, "hey, wanna go out?" like Jisung had said he'd do if he ever did because he joked about Renjun-hyung being unable to be romantic. Little fucker. He'd prove him wrong, he had said that day and well, he kinda did? but just kinda.

It was in the middle of the year. He had found the guts to ask the other on a date. (Since when had he stepped out of his loser stage?) and Jaemin had laughed at his words. What was so funny about asking someone on a date by saying _"Hey, Jaemin, Well... uhh.. I'd like for you to go on a date with me and all that shit. You up for it?"_ But he didn't care cause the other had said yes.

And the date? It was fucking sappy, he admits it, okay? But he knows Jaemin likes sappy shit, courtesy of Yangyang, so he thought that it'd be perfect for him to ask him out or at least on another date if he gained his interest by doing that type of shit. So he dressed himself in a white and gray stripped shirt that was tugged in his black ripped pants. He had a black hat with two rings to the side on because he had dyed his hair a peachy pink recently and Mark had thought that the hair didn't match his fucking look but whatever, he didn't care enough to disagree.

Jaemin had complimented his look saying "it suits you" and Renjun let something like "your outfit is pretty too, like you" before realizing what he said and _**shit**_.

Though it seemed to work in his favor because the younger's eyes shined as his cheeks flushed a tone of pink and mouthed a "Thank you." before intertwining their hands and it was Renjun's turn to feel himself get a little red. He's in too deep.

Renjun doesn't really know why he felt like bringing him to watch the stars was a good idea, but he did. They broke inside the astronomy classroom's tower. They both had been awfully quiet as they went up the stairs. Renjun wasn't an idiot, he knows Jaemin is a really pure and kind type of person and he is 100% sure the other had never broke inside a place before. So he hopes that squeezing his hand when he seemed to be doubting himself for doing this was enough of comfort to let him know that they'd be alright.

They stare at the stars, and Renjun tells him about the memories of his mother's words and how he used to think that it was just a fairytale as he grew up but atill clinged to the idea of a distant happiness. He could see the way Jaemin seemed sad and furious at the same time everytime a word escaped his lips to tell his lonely and tragic story or whatever.

"They seem to have changed a lot over the years. I can't believe they only see your magic potential instead of the beautiful person that you are." Jaemin had said as he rubbed circles on his hand. Renjun wants to comprehend how a simple touch could make the rest of the worl just go away. "But your mom was not wrong, you know? Because I care about you, and uh.. the guys do too, of course, but I'd like it if you would let me care for you specically. I'd like to be that person."

Renjun felt his chest get warmer at the words of the other. He felt himself blink at the realization. Was... was he...?

"What I'm trying to say, Injun, is that I'd like for you to be my boyfriend. I just... I like you a lot and I want to make you see that love is something you are deserving of."

Renjun cries as he kisses the younger, he cries as the other calls him lots of names and tells him that it's okay, that they'll be stronger now that they're together and it all just feels like a good dream. Renjun thinks this moment alone is the happiest he's ever felt in a long time.

He knows this change is not only visible to him, but to the surprise of every other hufflepuff except both Jaemin and Yangyang. Even the stupid fuck of Lucas hadn't seem to have known about his feelings, and Renjun is sure he was obvious, so it somewhat feel relieving to see the whole set of yellow dumbfucks bamboozled at his sudden and very blunt ways of showing affection. Yes, he's been touchstarved and won't waste time with his perfect soft boyfriend. Fucking bite him.

The third change of his life is that he decides to talk to his parents. This is the first time he's going to actually give his opinion on his parents ideals and he is anything but scared.

His boyfriend had said that this was a good idea. Told him that if his parents brushed his wishes, if they only pushed their goals into him, that they weren't family and that he'd beat them up for being so cold to their own son. Renjun couldn't let the other take all the credit, though, because the fact that he couldn't deal with it anymore was what really made the glass break.

It didn't go _fine_, but it didn't go _terrible_ either. They had voiced their disappointment on the fact the other had wasted, is wasting, so much potential, but they had also told him that they wouldn't force him to do anything anymore. That he'd be the only one to blame for his own future and he didn't hesitate to tell them that he was okay with that.

He might also have told them that he now had a boyfriend. And with a voice full of bravery, looked at his mother and told her that he found the person who the stars had guided him to.

She had looked at him with something he didn't know exactly but felt quite like guilt and pain before saying "I'm glad you did."

* * *

His summer is spent on the Na's household. He is staying over to help his boyfriend over the summer to work in the family's bakery. It's not that he would be forces to atudy at his parent's house, but he felt better, happier around the other.

He soon finds that Jaemin comes from a family of squibs. In fact, Jaemin was the only one from his family to have magic in him. He had an older brother named Jungwoo who was also a squib and apparently, Jaemin was also expected to be one. But like what he did to his life, he'd proved everyone wrong. They told him that on his seventh birthday, right on time, he had levitated the knife his mother used to cut the cake in excitement.

They had laughed, telling stories about how Jaemin seemed to use magic without noticing and them not being able to help him because they were equally clueless. And even if it all seemed to be a good time, that night Jaemin had confided to him how he felt selfish when he used magic around the house. How he felt undeserving of this power and how he hated the fact he had been lucky and his brother hadn't. How his brother had worked so hard everyday and he could never achieve his biggest dream because of life being so unfair. Because life is based on luck and not on deserving things.

He had also told him that he was aspiring to be a powerful wizard for his brother, to make him proud and to be powerful for the both of them. Renjun felt his heart burn at the knowledge that he was dating a literal angel.

Renjun also found out how comfortable their family was with each other. How little they relied in magic, and more on each other to do everything. How even if they didn't have the magic that pretty much everyone used to survive, that they lived happier than other magic bearing families. He compared them to the way his family functioned and he wondered if magic was so powerful to affect the strength of a famioy bond. If he was a squib, would it all be better? He can't help but wonder.

"I don't think magic has much to do, I think the people themselves are to blame" Jaemin had told him when he had voiced his thoughts at the middle of their cuddle sessions two days before they left for their fifth year. "Like you. You choose to just be a normal person like any other instead of following your parent's footsteps. Magic didn't affect the way you saw yourself in this world or what you chose to do. And yes, some people seem to have no choice like my brother, but he made the only option something he would enjoy."

Renjun frowns. "And where do you lay?"

"Me? I don't care about magic at all. I've seen my family enough to know that I don't need it. But I have decided to use it to help the people I love. I have decided to become a wizard for others, because maybe my luck isn't for me. Maybe it's for them, too." He'd said as he snuggled closer to his boyfriend. His hands warm against his skin. He kisses his lips and whispers an "I love you" to them.

"I don't know if I can say that as easily as you." Renjun admits, as he plays with the soft strands of his boyfriend's blond hair. He feels guilt tug at his heart, because he doesn't want Jaemin to go. But he knows Jaemin deserves to hear it. To be sure._ To know—_

"It's okay, Injunie. I can say I love you for the two of us." _He really doesn't want to fucking leave this; this warm moments that make him feel warm and shit and just— fuck, please don't make him leave._

"It's okay, we'll follow each other wherever we go, right?" Had he said that out loud, oh, shit—

"I love you, Junnie."

He kisses his boyfriend before going to sleep. _I love you too._

**Author's Note:**

> next fic will probably be chaptered, and i wanted to give you all this because i will probably take some time depending on how good i am at writing action/magic sequences. though it might as well have only 5 chapters as a maximum. just gotta say that shit hits the fan for chenle (yikes)
> 
> or maybe not as bad ( ^___^ !! )
> 
> scream at me at @chenl3_3 im lonely. :((
> 
> thx to my beta for helping me with this mess omg.


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